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Eye of the Cloud

Worked some more on the stories tonight. I was working mostly on Cloudy’s story. The first draft went something like this:

Cloudy is a standup comedian. He’s dating a girl named Kaori. He takes her to his beach house. They break up. Cloudy starts dating the ALF girl.

For the second draft, I’ve written up to the end of our first night with Cloudy. It’s already 10 pages long. But, I started to discover something. Most of what I’m writing is just to put my writer’s mind into context. Then suddenly something comes out that I can use.

What it felt like to leave Cloudy’s flat that first night…tanked, in the streets of Shibuya at 2 a.m. It’s choc-o-block with young locals. They are spilling out of the clubs and giggling…still high from the music and the dancing and the e. We wave to a group of them on the way back to Sandra’s. “Gudo ibuningu,” they shout. “Oyasumi!” we shout back. And time slips away and I can almost see Tokyo 100, 200, 300 years ago…all at the same time. It’s a humid September night, and the road is dusty. I can smell yaki iimo. And, we’re just all trying to find our way home.

2 Responses

  1. dillyberto
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    I don’t know how you can write Tokyo Cowboys, blog, and read the blogs of others. You are making headway with that piece if you can do all of these!

    Best Wishes.

    The greatest journey begins with but one step.

    I think you’ve taken many.

  2. daneeta loretta
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    Thanks for the encouragement. It really helps a lot. I love Chris’ blog (http://worldclassneworleans.blogspot.com/) cause it makes me feel home again. I haven’t been back since Katrina wiped out all of the physical representations of my memories. At least I still have those. Go Saints!