Giving Patrick the Day Off

Couldn’t really work yesterday. That’s not so true. I transcribed part of Scott’s first interview…about an hour’s worth of the three hour interview. What was I thinking? I had planned to do some planning for Nice Guyjin, but it just wasn’t coming. I had a lack of immagination. And now Patrick is asking me “what are we gonna cut today?” Big Momma’s House? Scott’s interview? But I haven’t even gone through the footage yet. It’s all part of the process…all part of it. Just calm the fuck down.

I can look at the footage again today. Maybe give Patrick another day off to work on “Daybreak.” And just finish the Scott footage. Then I can have more of a hand in it. Just see how that works. Slow it down just a bit. And write. I should write, yes? Everything is going to work out for the best. It always does. Yes sir, it does. So, what about Scott? What about Nice Guyjin? What about the film…the story?

I went to find Cowboys on the post modern urban frontier. I went to find freedom. I heard…I thought they had a monopoly on freedom. But what was that? I was discovering that there was no one definition. There were as many definitions of freedom as there were people. So, I went through their mini-narratives trying to define it for myself…trying to find my own mini-narrative. I could pick and choose from theirs. What did I discover? Just that…there is no one definition of freedom. You can’t define it universally. There is no Truth with a capital “T.”

It’s a personal story, sure. It’s a journey back to Tokyo. But what is my relationship with Tokyo, and what new things do these characters show me about Tokyo…about the post-modern urban frontier? I hated Tokyo. I was reluctant to go back. But, there was something calling me back. Tokyo is calling me back. She’d been calling me back since the moment I left…”no, that’s not the way it is. You’ve got it all wrong. I’m not the city of broken dreams. I am the city that fulfills dreams.” So I went back because I had to. It just wouldn’t let go. I thought I’d had it bad…that all of this freedom and opportunity had been the death of me. That it was all just too much.

But, the guys…the cowboys…they seemed to be able to handle it. They seemed to embrace it. And, there’s something about control that Patrick and I were talking about yesterday.

Anyway, cutting today…I think I might wait. Give Patrick the day off.